Lord give me strength.
men are trash
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My name is Hannah. I am Eighteen years old and I live in a suburb in Sweden. I go to school for two days a week studying civics.
When I’m not in school I’m either at some kind of health-related apointment or at home doing daily living, art and hanging out with my 3 petrats, possibly with homeaid being there. Wherever I am It’s always about surviving, making it through the day.
I wake up exhausted, in pain, stiffness, feeling sick and being dizzy. A lot of days I cannot make it up from the bed in a few hours and have to depend on my friend who I live with to give me medicines, food, water and whatever I might need. If he’s not home i’, bluntly put, screwed. Everything hurts. If I lie completely still it’s sometimes manageable but forget about moving. As if I wasn’t in enough pain already there’s probably a bad headache or migraine on the way too. Other days I make it halfway and nearly faint onto the floor, depending on someone to give me something to eat before I faint completely. On a good day I might make it to the kitchen to make my own breakfast (with help reaching certain things).
Every step hurts. It hurts in my feet, my legs, my back, my neck, everywhere. Intense pain shooting through me every time I move. I’ll feel sick and be unable to keep my balance. I’ll notice the signs of an intense migraine coming on, wondering when it will explode, like a ticking bomb. I’ll be foggy, unable to think straight, unable to pick out words for what I want to say, like a zombie. The medicine will begin to give effect and make me even more foggy. Trying to bend is out of question. Want to get something from the bottom-drawer? Too bad. I have to rely on someone else, in this case my friend who I live with, always being there. The stress is always haunting me, what if I get thrown out? What if my friend moves? I realize how I would not survive on my own, and that too, hurts. Now this is just the fibromyalgia on it’s own, not the ADD, autism, OCD, ibs, depression, panic attacks, flashbacks, paranoia or selfharm.
Now to the goal with this funding…
(the goal might seem extreme but service dogs are very expensive here being uncommon and having to be paid for all by ourselves. We also aren’t allowed to train them ourselves. HERE is a great link about why they cost so much.)
I want to be able to get a servicedog to help me become more independent and make me able to do things normal people can, with less suffering too. I want the dog not to rely on but rather to become more independent. I want to be able to survive by myself and get through my paindays by myself. I cannot rely on anyone always being there anymore.
I want to do things myself, anything that a healthy person can do! I want to be able to buy groceries, do laundry, make breakfast by myself in the morning, survive by myself on bad days, be able to use public transportation, go to the mall, be able to walk places without it being torture!
The dog would learn how to retrieve named objects for me (VERY useful when I’m stuck in bed and need medication, phone, food etc), pick up things i drop (I drop things without noticing it a lot), pick up things from the floor, open drawers, pull me forward when the fatigue is too bad or in places like stairs, support my balance, open lids (like the one on the trashcan i usually can’t reach myself), calm and notice/alert panicattacks before they go to far, put things away, help with laundry, get me my medc, wake me up when my alarm goes off, interupt selfharm, interupt stimming, provide a buffer/shield for me in crowded areas, extinguish flashbacks and overloads by bringing me into the here and now, provide deep pressure during panic attacks, stand behind/in front of me or circle around me to create a barrier, help pull off a jacket, pants, socks or shoes and more.
Except for these great tasks it would also provide me warmth (soothes the pain a lot), security, independence, make me exercise more (which is really though to get yourself to do when you’re dealing with this pain but it helps in the long term!), make social connections easier and enable me to do a lot of things I can’t now, like going places by myself and surviving without other persons always helping me out.
Having this dog should provide me with a much higher level of independence, exercise, energy, social connections and security as well as just enabling me to live a more normal life with less pain. It would mean the world to me to get a bit of my life back and manage to do things on my own, with help of 4 paws. Every little bit helps, really. Even if you cannot donate you can help by spreading the word. Thank you so much for reading!
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